Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Here comes the sun...

A pretty comical title if you ask me, considering we're having "the storm of the year" right now and I can feel the windows in the house shaking from the wind.

Regardless, my butt is leaving for the gym in 15 minutes and I am going to kick some butt (mine, of course!).  I've started off with 1/2 banana and some PB and I'm bringing oatmeal with raisins, dates, walnuts and soymilk to work to heat up after.  I also packed some soup and a mini pack of pita chip samples, a pear, and another banana for work.

I made an appointment yesterday with Kaiser psychiatry yesterday after picking up The Beck Diet from the library.  This was a big step for me, but my husband had been commenting that my anxiety has been getting higher and higher as the months go on and my outlook on life has become more and more negative, which is not what I want for myself or my family.  I spoke with the woman there about everything and she feels I could benefit from anti-anxiety medication, in addition to a group class that helps people work through and manage stress and anxiety.   I have another appointment tomorrow to work out all the details, but I have two fears regarding the medication (which I will discuss with them at that time):

1)  Dependency - I have a history of substance abuse in my family, which I know ups my likelihood of having an issue myself.  Although  I have not had an issue with drugs/alcohol/pills before I worry that the medication will really work and I will become someone else while on it and not be able to be "me" anymore. 
2)  Weight gain - for obvious reasons!  The woman yesterday said she does not think I will since I have already been working on a healthy lifestyle for some time and I am overeating/eating junk when I am unable to cope with my anxiety/stress so hopefully it should help with that.  I'm going to ask about it anyway though tomorrow.

I know that medication can be a tricky topic and I am not sure that this will even work for me, but I am willing to give it a try as everything else I have tried has not adequately reduced my anxiety (breathing techniques, exercise, thought exercises on my own, etc).   I hope that the combination of the medication and the classes will really make a difference in my life and I can get back to "normal" again, whatever that is :)


fattymcbutterpants said...

Make sure you check out the meds -- just google them, I found much more reliable information that way (i.e., experiences from others). One medication I was on wasn't "supposed" to have weight gain as a side effect, but shocker of all shockers everyone online was complaining about it.

Also, if you find that you don't like the medication, switch to something else. Sometimes it takes a little work to find the right med/combo of meds.

Kudos on making the appointment and doing something about it!! That is a BIG step!

Lauren said...

Thank you, I will definitely make sure to google before starting them, real experiences always tell the truth! I was second guessing the decision today a bit, but I think that I will try it out and see if it makes a positive difference, if not I can always stop, right?