Ugh, what a failure

I know I'm not a failure, I know, I know, but calorie wise this day is a total failure and its only 2pm.

How did I let this happen, you ask?

It all started off this morning when I drove 30 miles north before work to help my dad with a project. Afterward I went to my favorite little smoothie joint for breakfast. Calories listed on the wall, score! I made my decision, the 320 cal fruit filled beauty known as the Very-Berry. I debated the bars and breakfast sandwiches and at the last moment added on a scoop of protein powder because I had doubts that the smoothie would keep me full through my morning meetings and into lunch time. I tried to guess how much protein powder would add... 50 cal? 70? I had no idea so I asked and they said they buy the powder at Costco and dump it in a container so they don't have the bag with the nutritional info. Fine, I said, it can't be that bad for me. I mean, it's protein. Protein is always good, right?

I had some time to kill before driving back to work so I walked around the cute downtown area. Go me, getting in some extra exercise! As I walked I past not one, not two, but three donut shops. I don't eat donuts, except for the very rare occasion when I am absolutely craving them (always comes out of nowhere, like today). I love carbs, I love bread, but I don't really love donuts. Today I wanted donuts. My mouth was nearly watering as I peeked in and then kept walking, each donut store creating a bigger pull. Miraculously, I resisted! I got in the car, still enjoying my smoothie, and I felt confident and proud.

Until I got to my meeting. Donuts in a box may have lured me, had there been any. No, my very favorite coworker sat down next to me with an unmarked white bag. "I brought you something," she said with a smile as she pulled the largest donut I've ever seen out. A s'mores donut, no less, topped with marshmallow fluff, graham crackers, and a drizzle of chocolate. I ate it. I didn't shove it down my throat but over the course of the two hour meeting it dissapeared and I am to blame. It was absolutely amazingly delicious and will satisfy my donut craving until next year but here it sits, still in my stomach hours later, my body confused about what to do with so much sugar. That thing probably contained more sugar than I eat in a week. I can tell you this, as much as I enjoyed it in the moment I am not the picture of alertness right now, I am definitely in some sort of food/sugar coma.

So, I look up protein powder - 150 cal/scoop! That brings my smoothie to almost 500 cal, holy moly! I tried to look up nutritional info for the donut shop online, but no dice. I called them (how lame am I?) and the owner will be getting back to me with the nutritional info. So now, I wait, but I'm pretty darn sure that I'm at or over my cals for the day. I looked up Krispie Kreme and found their info, but I really think that this monstrosity was twice the size of one of theirs and piled with way more stuff on top. Ugh.

I'm not falling into one of my old habits though, a habit that I've heard many people have - just because I messed up the beginning of my day does not give me license to give up on the rest of the day. I can't just pig out because "it doesn't matter anyway" or "I'm already over my calories, what does it matter what I eat now?" I'm not hungry for lunch yet (how could I be? I have a pound of donut sitting in my belly!) but when I am I will eat a smaller, healthy lunch with a lot of veggies. When I get home I'll work out, and then have a nice, healthy dinner... and maybe work out some more, haha :)